Consumed with premonition Of trouble on horizon By my remarks I was certain I was destined persecution But then I took a chase after the Bournemouth Runner! Bournemouth Runner! C-c-could dare Bournemouth Runner! First night Bournemouth Runner! He was a Bournemouth Runner! Bournemouth Runner! Didn't get far Bournemouth Runner! First night Bournemouth Runner! But the second night He got away with our guiding light Was chilled to the bone At 8am On a Bournemouth morn There was a drum deck Two nights before Bristol ball A runner took backdrop, exit hall Bournemouth Runner! Raced a couple of hundred yards Bournemouth Runner! Barman clipped his ears Bournemouth Runner! Spitted and shifted Bournemouth Runner! Backdrop dissipated Bournemouth Runner! He was the Bournemouth Runner! How could we now it was the Bournemouth Runner? Bournemouth Runner! Raced a couple of hundred yards Bournemouth Runner! Barman clipped his ears Bournemouth Runner! Spitted and shifted Bournemouth Runner! Backdrop dissipated Bournemouth Runner! He was the Bournemouth Runner! Took away our guiding light Our backdrop was friendly, heavy Often it would rumble into hotel And partake with us In diluted drink and dogmeat Of RAC recommended hostelry Bournemouth Runner! Shifted and twisted Bournemouth Runner! On beach sand sifted Bournemouth Runner! In the best home Bournemouth Runner! Locks picked Bournemouth Runner! Should've known better Than to underrate Bournemouth sucker Took away our guiding light Bournemouth Runner! Calendar Bournemouth Runner! I'v forgotten the date Bournemouth Runner! No plot Bournemouth Runner! You're welcome Bournemouth Runner! It was coated in poison Bournemouth Runner! Have to buy a new one...