If I was the devil I'd hang out in blue-eyed Missouri Where the water And mountains collide I'd scare all the little children Rumble round 'neath The beds Tell 'em all kinda stories Can't help but get 'em Stuck in their heads And I'd take out All your livestock Blame it on a Beast of the night You know it was me As well as you know Wrong from right If I was the devil I'd go and find your preacher man Dressed in white And I'd tell him Hell was on the way Scare him out Of his skin See the brimstone In his eyes And then a band of fat white deacons Would take him far away And that would be just Fine with me If I was the devil If I was the devil I'd gather up all of your dreams Drop 'em to the Bottom of a black lagoon I'd steal away all your patience Steal away all you pride Leave you with nothing But uncontrollable fear Then I'd revel in my mastery Dance around with the night Down in blue-eyed Missouri Where the water And the mountains collide