Guitar solo
Too stoned for Sturgis!
Ya smoked a little too much rope
When ya too fried for bikers
Ya pushin' the Fried Envelope
When the police find ya passed out somewhare
Nekkid on a fare in bed
Ya proably too stoned for Sturgis
About a half a toke away from dead
Its kinda like too old for Lawrence Welk and not old enough for Mickey Mouse
Two steppin' to Steppenwolf
And too greasy for the Waffle House
Yeah I think you were born just a hare too wild even for the outlaw crowd
Its like a NASCAR official at Bristol sayin' "ya'll are gettin too damn loud!"
Too stoned for Sturgis!
Just a little smoked up today
When ya stagger around accusin' Dennis Hopper of workin' for the DEA
When ya trade in ya Harley for a chopper moped you are definitely
A little stoned for Sturgis
When ya shootin' birds at Willie G
Its like being to hot headed for Vince McMahon or to hauty for the New York Times
Just a hare too Southern for the Skynrd Boys or immature for LeAnn Rimes
Ya way too dirty for Larry Flynt
And too ugly for the Rolling Stones
A little light in the loafers for the ballet folks and too stupid for Jenny Jones
Too stoned for Sturgis!
When you cant find your hog
Ya locked up all week in a port-a-john wit what ya prayin is a Pecan Log
Ya thought ya saw Jesus in the parking lot
Its Peter Fonda totin' 2 x10's
You're a little too stoned for Sturgis and please never come back again
You're way too stoned for Sturgis and ya ought to be on a Schwinn
Guitar solo and fade to end