Here at Smokey's Bar with all my buddies I wipe away a tear as I look down at my ring You are at home all alone and the only thing I know That could make happy hour happy for me I Wish you were beer Something nice to hold Lord I wish that you would just get better when you get ice cold It's never fussin' or cussin' Being mean and screamin' And chewin' on my derriere Yes my dear I wish you were beer You say you wish I look like Brad Pitt Wish we had a bigger house a bigger bank account So I could buy you a bigger chest filled up with diamonds And all the fancy things. Wish I was smart like your brother Got along with your mother baby all I got to say I wish you were beer Something nice to hold Lord I wish that you would just get better when you get ice cold It's never jealous or suspicious I can always take it fishin' And I get it more than twice a year I wish you were beer Yeah it's tall, slick and slender with a dark amber tan I love the way he always goes down Yes my dear I wish you were beer I swear wish you were beer