Hey kids, do you know what you're getting for christmas this year? (No...) Well lemme tell you about it! For little Johnny there'll be video games underneath the tree And Sally in Ohio will get Malibu Barbie For little Elmer Johnson, old socks that smell like pee I know what you're getting for Christmas For the homeless in the street, there'll be tin cans and rain For the plumber in his saggy pants, another clogged up drain For the millionaire in the mansion, more money and cocaine! I know what you're getting for Christmas Singing Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. I know what you're getting for Christmas For the ladies: A new perfume, with the same old smell And for the TV Preacher, more Jesus to sell How about a new Burrito from Taco Bell? I know what you're getting for Christmas Singing Fa la. Fa la. Fa la. Fa la .Fa la. Fa la. I know what you're getting for Christmas For the drunkard in the bar, another glass of booze For the gambler in Las Vegas, another hand to lose For the grammar school nerd, another bully to fight For the lonely and disheartened, another endless night And all the pretty girls will get another kiss I know. I know I know what you're getting for christmas