Yeah
It's that time of year I'm going out to clear the deck
Stashing the patio set busting my rear end
This table's too big can someone help me lift it up? Quick?
Motherf*** these chair legs bruised my shins up
Eight Day's showing a graphic of snowflake
Time for some widespread panic across the whole state (Oh great)
No parking at the store, I make my own space
Ain't a single loaf of bread up in the whole place (Whole grain)
There's no water to be found not even OJ
But I got a lotta balls like I store the croquet
Swiping Aquafina out your cart while you're not lookin'
Throwing in some chicken noodle soup and straight bookin'
Calling up the wife (Get me in the back alley)
I'm cold like Doug E. Doug at the Olympics up in Calgary
Long winter ahead, no choice but to succumb bruh
So cold hitchhikers hold up pictures of a thumbs up
Welcome to the North...
Cancellations
Stores... Stores are chaos
Snowplow knocking down your mailbox
Wel-Welcome... the North
Ro-R-Road Closures
P-P-Polar... Vortex
In the North all business as usual
You get this in the South you'll be planning your funeral
It's nightfall throw that Yule log on fast
The snow bank's keeping the beer colder than Rudolph's ass
Got my snowblower ready for this Bombogenesis
So I'm casually depositing the snow over your fence
Pivot around and we got like eight inches more
I think we pissed off Mother Nature 'cause she just ate the porch
This is torture, can't see, goggles got frosted
Ice lodged under my pants around my Bob 'Crotch-it'
'Tis the season I'm supposed to act like Jolly Ol' Cole
But this winter's got me feeling like I'm probably old, so
A Snow Day's synonymous with 'locked in own home'
The shovel turns strong men into hobbling old folks
Take off my snow pants man I'm done with the weather
Sorry 'bout the shrinkage hun but it should fit you much better
After 10:00 it's time to get some things bouncing
No snow inside but I'm still upstairs plowing
Welcome to the North...
Power Outages
C-Col-Colder than Rudolph's ass
Put-Putting on chains
Lower back pain... pain
North...
Wel-Wel-Welcome to the Nor...
Snow-Snow... pocalypse
In the North all business as usual
You get this in the South you'll be planning your f... planning your funeral
The winter is upon us
Get snug and warm and cozy