If I die and go to hell real soon It will appear to me as this room And for eternity I'll lay in bed In my boxers, half stoned With the pillow under my head I'd be chatting on the interweb Maggots pray upon the living dead I had no interest in the things she said On the phone every day I'll permanently hit the hay-hay I called her on the phone and she touched herself She touched herself She touched herself I called her on the phone and she touched herself I laughed myself to sleep At this rate I'll be heading for electric chairs I'm only human with my cross to bear When she described her underwear I forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old school You're too young to be this empty girl I'll prepare you for a sick dark world Know that you'll be my downfall But I call and I call and I call I called her on the phone and she touched herself She touched herself She touched herself I called her on the phone and she touched herself I laughed myself to sleep I don't know what I want I don't know what I want I don't know what I want I don't know what I want I don't know what I want (Met you on the internet) I don't know what I want (Met you on the internet) I don't know what I want (Met you on the internet) I don't know what I want (Met you on the internet) I called her on the phone and she touched herself She touched herself She touched herself I called her on the phone and she touched herself I laughed myself to sleep (Woah!) I called her on the phone and she touched herself(whoa) She touched herself(whoa) She touched herself(whoa) She touched her self (whoa) I called her on the phone and she touched herself(whoa) I laughed myself to sleep