This is the tale of a bearded sloth
Who debases himself so they can get their rocks off
Recruits five skinny better looking men
To play guitar parts he'll never play again
So it's lash after lash like a budget Christ
From every blog or zine that took the chance to look twice
I'm not saying that this dude is me
Or speaking brutally of myself to gain traction
Action!
There goes the camera, click!
American indie-rock is a game of pricks
They're the gods of what was independent rock
And now is vaguely refined hogwash that I mock
Jacket patched up with a Wesleyan degree
Legs bound, tongue out, grinning as they piss on me
But I don't care, it's what I'm known for
I'll take it gleefully
I'm wrong and you're right
That's my thesis here tonight
With my gut and my bulge
I'll make the whole world scream
The whole room bleed
I'll lose for your gain
If it'll spruce up my refrain
It's what they want
The band plays while the ship goes down
The ship goes down
The ship goes down
I hate that dude now that he's married
He's got a baby on the way, poor Sherri
That's not apropos
He's not the wretch we know
Chop his family up, so we can feed them to the front row
Spike his fifteenth espresso with drugs
So he's convinced it's a manic delusion to know true love
Be 19 with a joint in hand
Never change the band
Never ever be a ... real man
I'm wrong and you're right
That's my thesis here tonight
With my gut and my bulge
I'll make the whole world scream
The whole room bleed
I'll lose for your gain
If it'll spruce up my refrain
It's what they want.
The band plays while the ship goes down
The ship goes down
The ship goes down
This isn't for the ones who know what it really means
They just follow, follow, follow other people's dreams
They were told by a friend of a friend of a friend
Music made to be used and forgotten again like a whore
Like a pair of washed out expensive retro boys underwear
We can never repair
I'm wrong and you're right
That's my thesis here tonight
With my gut and my bulge
I'll make the whole world scream
The whole room bleed
I'll lose for your gain
If it'll spruce up my refrain
It's what they want
The band plays while the ship goes down
The ship goes down!
The ship goes down!
It's what they want!
The band plays while the ship goes down
The ship goes down!
The ship goes down!
It's what they want!
The band plays while the ship goes down
The ship goes down!
The ship goes down!
The band plays while the ship goes down
The band plays while the ship goes down