Oh, I find much simple pleasure when I've had a tiring day,
In the bath, in the bath
Where the noise of gentle sponging seems to blend with my top A,
In the bath, in the bath
To the skirl of pipes vibrating in the boiler room below,
I sing a pot pourri of all the songs I used to know,
And the water thunders in and gurgles down the overflow,
In the bath, in the bath
Then the loathing for my fellows rises steaming from my brain,
In the bath, in the bath, in the bath
And condenses to the milk of human kindness once again,
In the bath, in the bath
Oh, the tingling of the scrubbing brush, the flannel's soft caress,
To wield a lordly loofah is a joy I can't express,
How truly it is spoken one is next to Godliness,
In the bath, in the bath
Then there comes that dreadful moment when the water's running cold,
In the bath, in the bath
When the soap is lost forever and you're feeling tired and old,
In the bath, in the bath
It's time to pull the plug out,
Time to mop the bathroom floor.
The towel is in the cupboard,
And the cupboard is next door!
It's started running hot, let's have another hour or more,
In the bath, in the bath
I can see the one salvation of the poor old human race,
In the bath, in the bath
Let the nations of the world all meet together, face to face,
In the bath, in the bath
With Verwoerd, and Kenyatta, and all those other chaps,
Nkrumah, Nabbaro, then we'll have some peace perhaps,
Provided Swann and Flanders get the end without the taps!
In the bath, in the bath!