When you mislaid a certain something Keep your cool and don't get hot Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you've got Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot The way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not It isn't here I'll mark this "X" It isn't there I'll mark that "Y" It isn't underneath the apple Mark the apple "HKI" It isn't in this keyhole It isn't on my knee Mark the keyhole "K300" Mark the knee "57B" We just jot down all the places where it isn't and gee whiz Very shortly we were looking where the missing object is It isn't here 842-J It isn't there F607 You can mark the piano "22 thousand decimal point 11" It isn't in the icebox It's not on this TV Icebox, 0-2-4 1/2 TV, 1,000,003 When you mislaid a certain something Keep your cool Don't go to pot Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you've got Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot The way to find a missing something Is to find out where it's not