I'm trying but still I close my eyes The dreaming bringing his face to mine Lock the door The constant buzzing all through the night The fighting rips me all up inside On the floor I pace, I run my mouth I pray and wait I cross out his name on the page (How long 'til) this washes away? (How long 'til) my body is safe? (How long 'til) I walk in the light? (How long 'til) this heart isn't mine? The rise and fall of his chest on me I'm trying but still it's all I see The violent current of energy I hide it away and underneath Lock the door I shake, I promise everyday To change I cross out his name on the page (How long 'til) this washes away? (How long 'til) my body is safe? (How long 'til) I walk in the light? (How long 'til) this heart isn't mine? Take this wildness away Anyway Anyway I'm trying but still I close my eyes The dreaming bringing his face to mine Out the door I pace, I run my mouth I pray to change I cross out his name on the page (How long 'til) this washes away? (How long 'til) my body is safe? (How long 'til) this heart isn't mine? I just want him in my arms anyway