One, two, three
I have no head for figures
My hands cannot explain
Endangered animals and acid rain
I see dead rivers running dry
I see activists who march and cry
How they cry singin'
Why, must we desecrate this land?
I'll tell you why: Because we can!
That's why
Save the whales, save the seals
Save the eagle, save the bison and the beach
Why not save your breath
Save the porpoise, save the dolphin
Save the gerbil, save the racoon and the rat
Why not save some stamps
I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I walk erect
See the cheetah, oh so supple, lean and quick
As he chases a gazelle
But he can't drive a car
At least not very far
I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can pay for sex
"Hey! There's a great show on the Discovery Channel tonight,
The history of the badger."
"Hmm, I wonder what badger tastes like?"
"I don't know, probably tastes like ferret."
"Wow, you've had ferret?"
"Yeah."
"What's it taste like?"
"Chicken."
I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can wipe my ass
What gives mankind the right to kill, at will?
I'll tell you what: Guns!
Big fuckin' guns, with giant fuckin' bullets pal!
I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can shave my balls
"Where are those cheeseburgers we ordered, man? Huh?"
--------------
"Goodbye Mother T... And it seems to me you live your life like a Gandhi in the wind, never knowing who to cling to when Ben Casey walked in, and...
This is great! This is better than the Princess Di thing."
I drink, and I drive
I'm the only one in my car that gets out alive
Ted Kennedy...
"Vagina... that's a good word."
"Penis." (repeated a few times)