Well, I'm a super-fightin' robot from the year 2010
On a quest from Doctor Light to make the city safe again,
See, all these robots were created to make the planet safe
'Till Doctor Wily double-crossed us and set fire to the place.
Doctor Wily had other plans, to take over this bitch,
Reprogrammed my brother and stole all them shitz,
My name is Mega Man, on my jet-dog, Rush,
Got a cannon-arm for y'all to keep your mouths shut, c'mon!
Vee interrupt your program with terrible news,
Doctor Light has been kidnapped by, guess who?
DOCTOR WILY, that's who! I'm comin' after you, too! (Wrong!)
Hwahahahahahahah! You're doomed!
Thanks, Wily, it's not like I've got shit to do,
Why not waste all of my energy fuckin' with you?
C'mon, Rush, we gotta go and save Docto Light,
And then teach Doctor Wily the wrong from the right, alright?
Hey bro, Protoman here, so what's up?
I got eight of my buddies built for messin' you up,
But who cares? I wish I did, but I'm just not built for that, bro.
I gotta fly, hope you're ready to go.
If I'm gonna win, I need to upgrade my shit;
Remember when I beat 'em to steal their power chips?
Charge my power beam when I enter the room, and then
Boom, br-r-r-r-room boom, boom, b-boom, boom!
To the windows, to the wall, to the sweat drips from my balls,
I'm beatin' ya down to the fuckin' ground,
Got a Mega Buster for y'all, c'mon!
Metal Man will rock your shit,
You're hit, don't you forget it, bitch
Throw a saw blade into your face,
Let's face it, you will taste my razor blades!
Uhh, whatever, you're the first boss, bitch
I don't even need a special power to take your shit!
Yeah, you're right, I'm no big deal.
One shot from my arm cannon, you're power's a "steel", DEAD.
I'm comin' to get you, fucker! (fuck yourself...)
Hey there, freak, these freakin' woods are mine,
The name's Wood Man, have some freakin' leaves and vines!
Bitch, I upgraded my cannon with some metal blades for ya,
Fuck Mega Man, I'm the forest-a-destroyer!
You'll never get past my freakin' shield of leaves.
Well I'm Mega Man, punk, don't ya know me? Believe it!
I guess I'll just throw the freakin' thing at your ass!
Jump over that shit, then your ass is grass, DEAD.
Two down, six more to go;
Beat you in a flash, bitch, there ya-
FLASH!
Ahh-...
You fool, Flash Man in the house and I'm breakin' the rules!
No fair, frozen in the air.
Time's on my side, no time to spare!
'Bout to shoot these metal blades straight in your face,
Put all of Wily's robots in their place.
Leave you there so long you rust,
When I'm done with you all that'll be left is dust!
My time to shine, 'cause I'm better than most;
The trend-setter with the blue suit, you're toast!
Uhhh, I've got a blue suit, too?
At least I'm not as silly as you;
Gonna throw this metal blade and cut a hole in your ass,
Think I'll have my dog Rush take a picture of that, DEAD.
My name is Bubble Man, and I've got something to say-
DEAD.
(I'm not fuckin' with you)
Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane.
It's Air Man, bitch, and I'm bringin' the pain.
I got a fan installed in my grill, no lie.
I'm 'bout to blow your ass right off the map. Goodbye!
Beat you, breathe you, make you Co2,
Blow all you want, my leaf shield repels you!
So blow me, phony, your whole act's balogna,
You don't even pose a threat, I ain't frettin' it, homie!
SHIT. I'm as useless as Bubble Man!
Wow, that's fuckin' pathetic, my leaves jammed your fan. DEAD.
Sneak up and hit ya like a fuckin' tornado,
Puttin' Crash Man in the trash can like yesterday's tomatos.
Crashin' the party, it's Mega Man, baby! (Mega Man's in the house!)
Quit messin around!
It's all gravy!
I will fuck you up,
I'm'onna fuck you up, Mega Man.
You can't catch me (Totally total your ass, I ain't messin around!)
I will throw a bomb, and I will jump around,
What's that sound I hear?
That shit's the wind and it's pullin' ya down!
I'm Quick Man, dressed in red,
I got a yellow boomerang attached to my head.
Look, without the guilt,
I'll fuckin' drink you in milk
For tryin' to destroy this planet we built!
Oh, come on, Mega, don't be sour!
What I lack with speed, I make up for in POWER!
You can't touch my turbo skill!
With the Crash Bombs, I'm comin' in for the kill, DEAD
Anyone got a light? I need a cigarette.
Here ya go, bro!
Bitch, you're gonna regret-
Uhh, one more boss, don't forget,
I'd love to stay, but I've gotta jet!
'Sup, Heat Man, let's do this fast,
My pussy-ass brother just bailed on your ass.
It's time to blow bubbles, the bad kind, though.
Don't get to close; I might blow,
Who knows what flows from the earth? I DO.
I'm 'bout to spew red goo all over your shoes,
I got a face for radio and a box for a suit!
Capcom really didn't spend much time on you. (NOPE.)
Check it out, I'm tired of you,
I gotta get to Light before his time is through.
I got my cannon ready and I got huntin' to do!
I've got more hot than a cow has moo!
I will burn you with my flame,
Zippo is my middle name!
I'm done fuckin' around, 8-Bit clown!
Here's a bubble, have fun six feet underground. DEAD.
(I'm comin' to get you, you German bastard!)
You will never make it through my fortress, Mega Man!
I'm takin' over the world! (HUAHAHAHAHahahahah...)
Shit, c'mon Rush, we've gotta make it through the castle!
Over the ladder and make it to the battle,
Doctor Light needs our help and the world needs his genious,
Wily can suck a penis,
J-j-jump over the roof, charge my cannon and shoot,
Come and face me like a man, you old coot!
I'm tired of fightin' robots and cleanin' up your messes,
I'm takin' out the trash, it's time to learn a lesson!
So come down to the ground, out of your spaceship!
Ya ain't got the balls to be fuckin' with dis shit!
After I take you, I'll rip out your brain,
They won't even remember your name, c'mon!
Ya fuckin' meanie, ya ten-pound weenie!
To get the world, you'll have to go through me,
My name is mega man and you can call me "Rock",
'Cause I'll be rockin' your shit up and down the block!
'Cause that's how we roll- (Need my help?) Nuh-huh,
Get back in the kitchen, shit is under control,
It's a man's world, baby, dont' be flashin' ya vag,
Here's my backhand, bitch, you got a prob'm with that? (Ow!)
Saw-blade the Mecha Dragon, I just won't quit,
Quick-Boomerang the Guts Dozer, hit the switch,
Mega Man, mother fucker, and I'm rockin' this bitch!
Mega Man! You're right on time!
I will annihilate you once and for all! You're mine!
I'll shoot ya down from the sky, you'll never take me alive,
With these metal blades I'm packin, you'll die, that's no lie!
Join us, Mega Man, we could take over this place,
Dominate the human race! Face it, you could always be replaced!
You old geezer, I'll take your old ass down any day,
You'll never be as smart as Doctor Light is, anyway!
You're artificial, Mega Man, what do you care?
I'll tear the world apart without you, I hope you're prepared!
What the fuck, you're an alien?! You gotta be kiddin' me!
Ya nutsack, don't fight back, I'll embarass you, E.T.
Doctor Wily phone home! I do love Reese's...
You're nothing but a thesis!
I'll blow you to pieces!
Check it out, here's mah Bubble,
I'm done with ya, crazy,
Now get on your knees and cry like a lady. DEAD.
...Your mother.