Ladies and gentlemen, your death date is penciled in
My name is Hades, I maintain the place that you'll forever end up in
The Fates have dictated your place in my humble domain
And though you've come to stay for good I'll still say: "Hope you come again!"
Welcome to the underworld where you come for eternal furlough
Once your punctured conscious no longer functions I'll become your infernal pharaoh
So get them comfortable, Hermes turn up the heat to a burning inferno
My son's a surely youngster, yearning for something else than a girl though
Why won't Zagreus learn from Cerberus? Why he's determined to turn from us?
Despite my tireless advice and guidance, my son's quite impervious
He's like an Olympic sprinter that's trying to get into to Olympus
I won't give him permission, it's my parental right to convince him it isn't in his interest
Son, you've got daddy issues, come back, your dad will miss you
It's just a phase you're going through, don't make me battle with you
Son, you've got daddy issues, hang on, let me grab a tissue
You're a very bad boy, laddie, you've got daddy issues
Son, you've got daddy issues, you need your family with you
If you plan to continue this path, then I'll have to forbid you
Come back and I'll forgive you, don't make me battle with you
You're a very bad boy, laddie, you've got daddy issues
Laddie, you've got daddy issues that are this huge and they're quick to manifest through family disputes
How could you do this to your daddy? Took advantage after all the privilege I give you
Didn't plan for this specific outcome, did you? Just sitting selfishly
Thinking about the farewell I'd bid you, well, I forbid you, your rebelling's a hell of a tribute
When you become a dad, then you'll understand I'm something other than a big brute
I'm only strict to protect you, never intend to restrict you
Don't run with scissors, you need adult supervision, I'm in pursuit
It's senseless trying to resist, you haven't the stamina to
Son, you've got daddy issues, you need your family with you
If you plan to continue this path, then I'll have to forbid you
Come back and I'll forgive you, don't make me battle with you
You're a very bad boy, laddie, you've got daddy issues
Son, you've got daddy issues, come back, your dad will miss you
It's just a phase you're going through, don't make me battle with you
Son, you've got daddy issues, hang on, let me grab a tissue
You're a very bad boy, laddie, you've got daddy issues
Boon, boon, boon
You can't stop respawning in this room, room, room
Try to reach the upper floor, you'll just resume too soon
Like Sisyphus, aren't you sick of this infinite chrysalis?
You're living in a literal pyramid scheme, doesn't it seem ridiculous?
Repeating a frivolous fever dream
In a devious vision full of wickedness
Give it a rest, I'm simply the best
At never letting you unfeather the nest and you're tethered with nets
However clever you get you'll never sever the rest
Your mother smothered and coddled you, would you never forget?
Hey, don't ever say Persephone
Even the name is stressing me
If you ever utter, it's plain, you've definitely
Suffer the pain the second you dare to speak
So pick your phrasing especially carefully, yes, I'm policing your language
You're free to make a complaint, just get with the rest of the shades
And wait for me to appraise your plea, decree your anguish and leave you to languish painfully
These are the ramifications, you have irritating me when I'm eating my banquet
Snacking on quail while I leave you in famine, squeeze your grapes, they'll bleed so sanguine
I don't mean denying a high five when I say that I'll leave you hanging
So what if that joke wasn't most appropriate? You can go and overdose on opiates
I don't suppose you know this, but I'm the host of the ghost symposium, supposed to be odious
So your opprobrium won't reprogram me, but only provoke me to soak in the sodium
Rubbing salt in the wounds while you're running through so many tombs you can only assume
That if only you knew where your home would be, you
Would be over the moon, now go to your room
Don't worry, dude, it'll be over soon
So you can redo it anew, you're overdue
Son, you've got daddy issues, come back, your dad will miss you
It's just a phase you're going through, don't make me battle with you
Son, you've got daddy issues, hang on, let me grab a tissue
You're a very bad boy, laddie, you've got daddy issues
Son, you've got daddy issues, you need your family with you
If you plan to continue this path, then I'll have to forbid you
Come back and I'll forgive you, don't make me battle with you
You're a very bad boy, laddie, you've got daddy issues